THE QUADRIPLEGIC MASTURBATER

So I am driving and I pull up behind that arrogant anesthesiologist, the one with the license plate that reads "putuout" and we are stopped at a red light and I start to fantasize about how rewarding it would be to rear end him just a little bit, just enough to piss him off and how satisfying it will be for me to do this and then somewhere along the road in my head, the car veers way off course into no-mans-land.... so I start to fantasize that I do rear end him, I slowly tap the back of his car because he's an asshole.   All I want to do is nudge his car so that he gets really mad and then I can be like "oh I am so sorry" because you know that this man's car is more important than anything else.  So I nudge it a little bit and what happens?  My airbag goes off and in a freak accident hits me so hard in the face and neck that my neck snaps back and boom, I am instantly a quadriplegic....Damn it. This was not part of the plan.  So since I have no insurance because I am poor and my family can't care for me because they think I am an idiot and they are embarrassed by me because all I can do is drool and make hissing sounds, I am placed in a state run facility for people like me who are in a wheelchair and can only move their eyes, a la Christopher Reeve. So everyday after speech therapy, which sounds a lot like this:                                                                                      

the orderlies wheel all of us into a room where they are supposed to exercise us but they don't, they masturbate in front of us because they know that we can't do anything about it at all except for look at them with disgust in our eyes.  WTF??? Orderlies that masturbate in front of quadriplegics because we are defenseless?  Talk about people that are going to hell....so all of a sudden I snap out of this weird fantasy and decide no way in hell am I rear ending this prick in the ferrari. But by this time my car is so close to his car, he rolls his window down and screams at me, "back off lady" to which I reply  "fuck you pal, your stupid car will not make me the quadriplegic masturbater"  which of course  does not come out right when I say it out loud because I am so freaked out by how my fantasy turned freaky and weird way quick and that this could actually happen, but this man looks at me like I am obviously off my meds so I just decide it's best if I just drive off and never return to this intersection for a good 6 months.