Keeping It Real

Today I must write because I keep hearing about this new book called The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom. Yes it came out a while ago but I'm just realizing it's implications on society. It's about Asian moms and how they push their kids way too hard. But that is just the opinion of me, the Koala Mom. Why do I call myself the Koala mom? Because I really just like lay around stoned and don't really care about pushing my kids. As long as they don't up end in jail, I figure I've done my job as a parent. I do want my kids to be exposed to different languages and sports and stuff but if it takes time out of my sleep schedule or real housewives of beverly hills tv time, forget it. Sorry, mama koala needs some "culture" too. I love my kids, like most people do and I do believe that some discipline is good but the Tiger Moms hit their kids in the legs with sticks. Not cool. I might hit some kid that makes fun of my kid in the leg with a stick but I would NEVER hit my own kid with a stick. FIrst of all, that would mean I would have to go outside and find a stick which would take me way too long and then I would have to go looking for my kid and by that time, half of RHOBV would be over so you know what, a simple "don't do that again" yelled from the comfort of my own couch will teach my child not to do it again. Languages, why push your child to learn another language? Everyone around the world learns English so why do I have to push my child to know a 2nd language? My child knows english and slang/curse. That's two languages. And in the future with all the computers, all you really have to do is type something into your computer and you can get the answer. And the whole thing with musical instruments. Who wants to have a child that plays carnegie hall at 14? I mean do you how many nights you will have to be out at concerts watching your child perform? I prefer the comfort of my own bed after 8pm, I don't want to have to go to my kids' carnegie hall concert all the time. And what will they strive for if they have achieved perfection at 14? They will constantly want you to show them new things and take them new places and that just gets tiring. You know, not everyone can be great. I don't want to embarrass my kid and single him/her out as being a genius. They will just get made fun of and who wants that? I want my kid to be the cool kid, not the smart genius. Can you imagine if you raise a genius perfectionist how bad they will make fun of their parents for being lazy bums and wanting to watch tv? I can just hear it now. "You go practice Beethoven while I watch celebrity wife swap honey." Okay, so my vote is we all become koala moms and just relax a bit as far as this parenting thing is concerned.